Beyond the Board

Ever wonder why the same 50 or so people volunteer for everything at church? Seems like every church has a core group of people who participate in everything, volunteer for everything, and do everything. Where are the rest of us?

At lunch the other day my friend said, “I love my church and all, but the only thing is - it seems a little bit ‘clique-ish’. It’s always the same group running the show. It’s always the same volunteers...for every event. It’s always the same people teaching a Bible study.” I said, “Maybe those are just people who don’t have any kids, and have a lot of time on their hands, so they end up volunteering a lot. You know, empty-nesters or something?”

She said, “Well that could be, but… ever since I volunteered to make chili that day, the church keeps calling me to volunteer at every event they have. I don’t think it’s so much that some people have time on their hands, as it is the church office calling the same people over and over. I sure can’t do it all, man. I’ve got a life. I don’t want to be in 'the clique'.”

Contrast that conversation with the church leadership meeting I was at a week ago where the topic was how to get different assortments of people to volunteer in events. The leaders at the table were worried that the core group, who always volunteer for every event, were doing too much while other church members were involved too little - if at all.

“How do we get different people to get more involved?” The Executive Pastor asked.

“I’ve sent emails.” The office manager sighed.

“Let’s have a Ministry Fair!” Said the ministry leader. “We can put sign-up tables in the courtyard this Sunday. Pastor can make an announcement before the sermon!”

“Uggh! Not those tacky-tables-with-handwritten-sign-up-sheets-on-top–that-are-the-laziest-way-out-of-creating-a-relationship-ever-imaginable-in-the-history-of-mankind…NOT AGAIN!” I screamed in my head.

Here's the deal:

· Church leaders think the core group people are the only ones who do anything, and the rest of us are ‘pew potatoes’.

·The rest of us think the core group is a clique who have some sort of ‘in’ with church leaders, and no life. We want to help when it fits with our life - -but not to the point that it defines our life.

· The core group thinks they are being run ragged and feel like, “can’t-someone-else-for-once-do-something-so-I-can-finally-say-‘no’?

If any of this rings true for you, chances are your church leaders could be suffering from two things: first, they lack professional leadership experience; and second, they group-process using an unintentional filter of church being the spiritual destination for individuals, rather than God being the spiritual destination. They may think they are focusing on our relationship with God. But in truth, the scenario above is tell-tale of a church-centered filter, not a God-centered filter. Most well-intentioned churches fall into this trap. So what’s the answer?

Have you ever broken a board with your fist? The trick is to not focus on the board. The trick is to focus on a sweet spot beyond the board. When you focus on a place behind the board, your fist goes through it like butter. I once was at a conference where one of the exercises was to walk across 100 feet of hot coals. The key was to concentrate on the cool moss beyond the hot coal strip, not the coals. During the whole walk across these burning hot coals, I never felt anything but cool moss under my feet…because that’s what I concentrated on. I don’t know how I got across. I just know that I got to the cool moss patch on the other side.

So,one answer for churches might be: look beyond the church and concentrate on God. You will find that when you take responsibility to care for every individual so they can be met by God, you will be more intentional about creating spaces for relationships, rather than scheduling time for an event. You will become more aware of the need to invite all individuals into a relational place - - onto a path of friendships; rather than letting the core group be your crutch to ‘do an event’.

The answer for us individuals is this: focus on God and do what He would have us do. God cares. He knows what is on your heart. He knows when you need a friend. He knows when you can be a friend. Focus on God and He will show you a path to friendships...he will invite you to a relational space (hopefully) designed by His church.

Can Someone Help Me Unpack?

I'm in 2 Kings. Need I say more? Is there anyone who can provide a historical context as to why the syntax - back-and-forth between Judah and Israel - way of writing is significant? I find it terribly confusing and I'm in that mode of feeling like I'm being left out of some deeper meaning hidden in the text. It is definitely washing over me. He was a good king...he was a bad king...and did I miss entirely where and when Judah and Israel split??? Was it during the reign of one of Solomon's sons?

If you have read 2 Kings and gotten an "Ah-Ha!" meaning somewhere in all of it, will you please tell me?

Oy-Veh!

With or Of?

Do you attend a church with ministries and groups, or of ministries and groups?

A church of ministries is comprised of several groups of individual ministries that meet in, or do work for a building called ‘a church’.

A church of ministries tends to lock people into pockets, resulting in slower evolution for the overall church, and walls that edify between each ministry…like little kingdoms.

However, a church with ministries is comprised of individuals who identify with being a unified, singular, church first, and that views their ministries, secondarily, as choices of movement towards a closer relationship with God.

In a church with groups and ministries, the ministries are pathways to spiritual growth – not destinations of servitude. Deciding to be a church with ministries allows people opportunities to develop relationships in ministries, but does not limit the possibilities of developing relationships to ‘joining a ministry’. Translation: If you are in a church with, ministry work is not the only place to meet people, and connect with one another.

What about relationships?

Do you attend a church with relationships or of relationships?

Relationships matter. After deciding to be a church with ministries and groups, ask the question: Are we a church with relationships or of relationships? People have the responsibility to develop their own relationships. But church leadership has the responsibility to create spaces for that to happen. A church of relationships provides a relational component in every venue; whether it’s a volunteer team serving the community, a group meeting to get to know one another, or whether it’s friends who sit together at services, relationships matter.

Get involved. Challenge your church leadership to create the culture. Be a church with groups, and of relationships.

Check out Kathy Guy at Granger Community Church for more on this subject and 'Getting a Grip on Groups'.

Rain on My Face

I’ve been running for several years…decades, really. If you are a runner, you know the feeling of clarity, reflection, connection and alignment that comes during a nice long run. I especially love running in the rain. It’s cleansing and redeeming. My running time is spiritual. I use it to sort out some issues with God, pray, praise, reflect over the abundance I enjoy compared to the vacancy of my past.

Last fall I was on a run and I was reflecting on a time in my childhood where the only memory I have is a flash of me laying in bed, in a dark room, crying. I seem to remember crying every night – like that was a normal way to fall asleep. But I also remember feeling such pain. I was about 5 or 6 years old. While I cried, I whimpered words to someone…to the air…to the universe. I can’t remember what the actual words were. But for a 5 or 6 year old, you can imagine the verbal expression was only a fraction of what was truly on my heart. Something like, “Oh, please don’t let my dad die,” really probably meant, “oh, please don’t let me be hurt anymore, I need someone who will take care of me, give me stability, be there for me.” And something like, “Make it better,” probably meant something along the lines of, “I beg you to stop my pain. I beg you to stop my loneliness. I beg you to give me back my mom. I beg you to make her normal. I beg you to give me a safe place.”

It wasn’t until I was an adult having my own children that I remembered this memory, and realized that it was God who was hearing me…that who I was talking to was God…and he listened. I never knew who or what I was talking to…I didn’t have the words or heart or faith for it when I was 5.

My mantra while running is to thank God for listening to me at that time, for delivering me from that place, and for catching every tear I shed. When the song by Casting Crowns, Praise You in This Storm, came out I couldn’t stop listening to it. The lyrics, “and every tear I cried, you held in your hands. You never left my side. And though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm,” are so utterly close to my experience that God’s presence resonates to my bones when I hear it.

So I am running along last fall, and it’s a beautiful day by any standard: cool, crisp, clear, white fluffy clouds. It was truly amazing, and the coolness in the air made me anticipate winter, and all the rain-running yet to come. On my ipod came Praise You in This Storm as it usually does around mile 3, and I once again picture myself as a little kid, in a dark room, in bed crying. And I begin to thank God for listening to me…to that little child. He brought me out of that, not just barely, but victoriously. I thank Him for blessing me with a solid marriage, and for children whom I can give love and certainty…and for the opportunity to hug them when they cry…say “I’m sorry” to when they’re upset. I am so thankful to be given the wisdom to know that what I have in the “normal-ness” of my roles as a mother and a wife, are truly gifts beyond measure.

I say out load, panting as my run comes to an end, “God, I know you caught every tear I ever cried, and may every raindrop that ever touches my face remind me of the way you cared for me when I didn’t even know it, and delivered me to a life I could never have even imagined.”

And all of the sudden, within seconds of the words leaving my lips, a soft rain began to fall. Out of nowhere, it came. I started laughing and crying all at once and the rain came down harder. I looked up at the sky and took it all in. In that moment there was such an extreme mutual feeling of love happening between me and God.

I didn’t want it to end…but I wanted to share it with my husband. So after I was sufficiently soaking wet, I ran into the house to find him. As I came down the hallway, I looked out the living room windows and saw that the rain had stopped. Just like that.

From the kitchen, Bryan saw me and said, “Looks like you got caught in that surprise down-pour. But knowing you, you probably loved it.” I just smiled, “Yeah, I sure did.”