At lunch the other day my friend said, “I love my church and all, but the only thing is - it seems a little bit ‘clique-ish’. It’s always the same group running the show. It’s always the same volunteers...for every event. It’s always the same people teaching a Bible study.” I said, “Maybe those are just people who don’t have any kids, and have a lot of time on their hands, so they end up volunteering a lot. You know, empty-nesters or something?”
She said, “Well that could be, but… ever since I volunteered to make chili that day, the church keeps calling me to volunteer at every event they have. I don’t think it’s so much that some people have time on their hands, as it is the church office calling the same people over and over. I sure can’t do it all, man. I’ve got a life. I don’t want to be in 'the clique'.”
Contrast that conversation with the church leadership meeting I was at a week ago where the topic was how to get different assortments of people to volunteer in events. The leaders at the table were worried that the core group, who always volunteer for every event, were doing too much while other church members were involved too little - if at all.
“How do we get different people to get more involved?” The Executive Pastor asked.
“I’ve sent emails.” The office manager sighed.
“Let’s have a Ministry Fair!” Said the ministry leader. “We can put sign-up tables in the courtyard this Sunday. Pastor can make an announcement before the sermon!”
“Uggh! Not those tacky-tables-with-handwritten-sign-up-sheets-on-top–that-are-the-laziest-way-out-of-creating-a-relationship-ever-imaginable-in-the-history-of-mankind…NOT AGAIN!” I screamed in my head.
Here's the deal:
· Church leaders think the core group people are the only ones who do anything, and the rest of us are ‘pew potatoes’.
·The rest of us think the core group is a clique who have some sort of ‘in’ with church leaders, and no life. We want to help when it fits with our life - -but not to the point that it defines our life.
· The core group thinks they are being run ragged and feel like, “can’t-someone-else-for-once-do-something-so-I-can-finally-say-‘no’?
If any of this rings true for you, chances are your church leaders could be suffering from two things: first, they lack professional leadership experience; and second, they group-process using an unintentional filter of church being the spiritual destination for individuals, rather than God being the spiritual destination. They may think they are focusing on our relationship with God. But in truth, the scenario above is tell-tale of a church-centered filter, not a God-centered filter. Most well-intentioned churches fall into this trap. So what’s the answer?
Have you ever broken a board with your fist? The trick is to not focus on the board. The trick is to focus on a sweet spot beyond the board. When you focus on a place behind the board, your fist goes through it like butter. I once was at a conference where one of the exercises was to walk across 100 feet of hot coals. The key was to concentrate on the cool moss beyond the hot coal strip, not the coals. During the whole walk across these burning hot coals, I never felt anything but cool moss under my feet…because that’s what I concentrated on. I don’t know how I got across. I just know that I got to the cool moss patch on the other side.
So,one answer for churches might be: look beyond the church and concentrate on God. You will find that when you take responsibility to care for every individual so they can be met by God, you will be more intentional about creating spaces for relationships, rather than scheduling time for an event. You will become more aware of the need to invite all individuals into a relational place - - onto a path of friendships; rather than letting the core group be your crutch to ‘do an event’.
The answer for us individuals is this: focus on God and do what He would have us do. God cares. He knows what is on your heart. He knows when you need a friend. He knows when you can be a friend. Focus on God and He will show you a path to friendships...he will invite you to a relational space (hopefully) designed by His church.
No comments:
Post a Comment