Don't Be Afraid To Stand....DOWN

I added that Britt Nicole song to my play list that goes (in part), "don't let your lights go out./ Don't let your fire burn out. / Somewhere somebody needs a reason to believe. / Whatever your eyes are on now / don't be afraid to stand down. / That's how the lost get found."

Several months ago, my son was on a week-long camp out with his camping club. They were kayaking down the Colorado River. Great time.

He could not stop talking about all the fun he had. One of the things the boys did for fun during a trek up some waterfall - or maybe in a cave - was to have a moss ball fight from the spongy moss growing to the side of the water. Sounds gross, right? Well, they are all boys, go figure.

Anyhow, one of the boys took a stray moss ball in the head and decided to get mad at my son for it....even though it wasn't thrown by my son...for whatever reason this kid got mad and tried to strangle my son in a head-lock. Now, you should know that my son is no slouch - he's tall and muscular and can hold his own. The guy attacking him was smaller but strong.

In telling the story, my son said, "it was weird mom, it was like he was a mad dog or something, like he couldn't control what he was doing." (I have such a strong radar for people with abhorrent behavior - so my antenna went right up)

My son eventually broke free. Didn't fight back. Was a little shook up. But fighting back was never a question for him.

I applauded him for turning the other cheek...that biblicly he did the right thing. That's exactly what Jesus teaches.

I confess, I felt sick to my stomach saying these things because I wanted to not only rip out the other kid's eyes myself, I also wanted my son to know the satisfaction of decking the guy...knocking some sense into him.

One of the counselors told me later in an email that the strangle kid was known to be aggressive and has had several 'stern warnings' on several other camp outs about his aggressive behavior, and that my son was not the only one this kid has lashed-out at. He said, "we aren't watching the boys a lot of the time. Their behavior is up to them. We counselors have to teach the goof-balls to become men and teach the men how to deal with the goof-balls." And, in my head I agreed with him, absolutely, and had no hard feelings. The incident was past. Or was it?

Last Sunday, my son left on another camp out and I found my self saying, "If that kid is on this camp out, and if he attacks you, by all means, you fight back. I will back you up 100% if you are defending yourself. Don't throw the first punch, just hit back if you need to defend yourself.

And that's where the song comes in. How could I give my son such non-biblical advice? Where is my heart at? DON'T BE AFRAID TO STAND DOWN BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE LOST ARE FOUND. Submission is an invitation to...

As a parent, I want to only give my boys guidance and discipline that is good (read right, read godly, read from the Bible), and here I was totally taking the easy way out because of my own personal fear of the uncontrollable, unpredictable. My attention to fear - in that moment - became bigger than my trust in God's promise.

Have you ever been reminded of how small you are? I feel pretty puny right now. Jesus does not deserve this kind of treatment. After all, he trusts me to raise His children/my sons.

This might seem small to you - something that happens every day. And that's the point. Small things that layer and layer in our everyday lives continue to help keep the evil one in control. Yes, in control. And I don't want that for my life or either of my sons'.