Apply Jesus. It Works.

The other day my son's class had a movie party. His best friend brought M&M's and passed out a bag to each student right before the movie started....well, he passed them out to everyone EXCEPT my son. So when he asked for his bag (which no one else had to do) his friend said, "I already gave you one." With all the other kids watching my son insisted that he didn't get one, but the friend - even though he had one extra bag - would not give it to my son. To make matters worse, no other kids in the class offered or shared their candies. My son was crushed and broke down in tears later in the car.

It wasn't so much the candy. It was that a best friend treated him so badly in front of everyone, and that no one came to his side. That really hurt. And kids are way more sensitive than we give them credit for. We adults always think that kids forget about tough situations quickly, but this event, I could tell, was leaving an indelible mark on my kid.

He immediately began scheming ways to 'get back' at his friend, thinking of all kinds of mean things he could do the next day so that his friend could go through the same humiliation.

With my stomach in knots that my kid was mistreated, and with all my will to do otherwise, I reminded him that we as Christians need to do what Jesus prescribes for such mean people. Even though it's harder than retaliation and doesn't hold the same allure, to do something nice for the person who persecutes us is what Jesus recommends we do. And we need to give it a try because Jesus knows our hearts more than we do...and if my son were to do something nice for the mean best friend, he would feel better inside than if he did something mean to retaliate. I told him that if he just got revenge that he would feel really good for a short time, but that he would damage the friendship for a long time, and that would make him feel worse in the long run. I urged him to rise above what happened knowing that friendships are worth more than this one event, and I urged him to do something nice for his friend the very next day. However, I also told him that whatever he did, I would support his decision, but that I knew he would do the right thing.

The next day my son brought candy canes to the class party - one for each student. He passed out one candy cane to every student saving the last for the mean best friend. After every one got a candy cane my son walked to his friend's desk, boldly held out the sour punch candy cane and said, "this is for you."

Later that night I told him how proud I was that he chose Jesus' teaching over his own desire for revenge. He said, "you know, my stomach actually feels better than if I didn't give him a candy cane."