Give Me A Revelation -Show Me What To Do

How many of us have asked this in prayer? I ask it all the time. "Oh, God, oh sovereign Lord, give me wisdom and revelation...to know your will in my life..." or "so that I can know you better"...or "so I can do your will in my life." Sound familiar? Do you pray this too?

I ask with the anticipation of something wonderful and awesome being revealed to me regarding God's plan for my life. And, remarkably, I always assume that God's will for my life is going to be something that I will absolutely love.

Well, the other day I got a glimpse of what I look like through God's eyes, and...it wasn't good. It was sad and pathetic. I got such a huge vision of how I fall short of anything great. I got a view of how unproductive I am...eternally...Of how ineffective I am...spiritually...

Who I really am in God's eyes is not pretty. I have a lot of work and repentance to do before I can even think about doing anything productive for the kingdom.

It was a good too see, but hard to accept.