Talk About Stubborn Weeds...!

It’s no secret. A year ago I worked in my church and the other ladies I worked with didn't like working with me. It’s all good. They didn’t know me before I got hired, I didn’t look like them, I didn’t dress like them, I didn’t think like them, and I represented change that they weren’t ready for...so naturally, they were a bit hesitant to welcome me to the ranks. Long story short, they banded together to try and put a halt to just about every project I was involved in planning. However, for the most part, I was unaware of just how much effort was being put into their scheming. Some tension finally came to a head, and, I left the job. Don’t worry, don’t worry. I am still a member of the church and am still involved with their communications and marketing (what I did while I worked there).

I hash this up only because over the summer I was reminded of a particular day in my job a year ago as I listened to a sermon by Pastor Andy Stanley of North Point Community Church. He said something that hit me right between the eyes. Suddenly, the air rippled in front of me like the way it looks when it rises off a hot road. My eyes rolled back and...

I was immediately transported back a year, to the library of my church to a conversation I had with one of the ladies with which I worked - one whose work and professionalism I respected a great deal. “You know, Térèse,” she said, “the reason why I haven’t worked with you is because we are not friends. If you were my friend, I would be able to work with you …because we would have the same interests.”

She went on to say, “Everyone I work with is my friend. Joan (pseudonym), who runs VBS is my best friend, Alice (pseudonym), who runs the Sunday school program - -she and I have known each other for years. So you see,” she smiled warmly, “had we been friends, you would surely have had my support.” She finished by saying, “maybe someday, if we get to become friends, because we are not right now, but if you prove yourself to become someone I would call my friend, maybe then, we will work together really well…if that happens.” I was speechless. A blank stare was all I could muster.


Just then Andy Stanley’s voice brought me back to the present podcast I was listening to while gardening, “Jesus said, ‘Love thy neighbor,’ NOT, ‘Love thy friend.’”

“If you choose to only love your friends that means you are involved in the choosing process. But Jesus doesn’t want you to have control. This is an unconditional command: Love Thy Neighbor. Jesus is saying that you need to love whomever: moves on to your street, goes to school with you, and yes, even works with you; because that is what it means to be a Christian. You need to LOVE them…those who He sends into your life, not just those that you choose, but those that He chooses. And just think of how much more solution oriented we would be as a society if we solved problems with other people from a place of love, rather than a place of exclusion. Do you think your approach would be different? Those who only love their friends, and exclude others - -they are not serving God. They simply are not Christians.”

As he said all this in my ear buds on my ipod, tears came pouring down my face. I was finally being released from this woman's judgment. Even though intellectually I knew she was completely wrong and petty, I was still held captive by her conditional acceptance of me...a weed whose roots were suffocating some part of my heart. I didn’t let go of her words until almost an entire year later when I heard God speaking directly to my heart through Andy Stanley. I felt so free, like I was released from a strangle-hold. And it wasn’t until that moment when I felt so free that I even realized I had such a tumor suffocating me. Wow.