Selective Hearing Runs Deep

“He who has ears, let him hear.” (Mt. 11:15) I think about this statement a lot. I think about it especially during those times in which my husband or kids totally do not hear a word I am saying even though I happen to be right in front of them, establishing eye contact, and even sometimes holding up visual aids. Like every night when the trash is full and I pull the sack out of the trash can, tie up the top, hold it up next to my body like one holds a prize-winning fish just caught; and I say to my son, “Hey, can you please take the trash out? I have it all ready for you.” He stops what he is doing, looks up at me, and says, “Sure.” Then he looks away and proceeds to ignore the trash bag sitting squat on the kitchen floor all night. When, at 9 o’clock, time for all of us to go to bed, I ask, “Were you planning on taking that bag out tonight or what?” He says, “Well, why didn’t you tell me it was ready?”

And just this morning, my husband came to me and asked, “Honey, what are your plans today?” This sounds like a very caring and attentive question. However, when you consider that last night we spent 15 minutes face to face discussing what our day would be like today…you have to admit, it sucks to feel unheard. Thankfully, I am not alone. I wonder, where does God get His energy to keep caring for so many of us when He is constantly talking to us, guiding us, and taking care of us; all while we completely ignore Him? I think my experience with my kids and my husband not hearing me is a great way to feel closer to God: I am constantly trying to find effective ways to be heard, and to listen; just as I imagine God tries to speak to us through our hearts, other people, other Christians, and situations.

While this quote is from the book of Matthew, there are several places in the Bible – both Old and New Testaments – where it is implied that ears are either tuned-in or tuned-out to the Word of God, the reality of God, or just the mere acceptance of a notion of God. But lately when I think about it, I am more intrigued about the physicality of the statement. I’m intrigued that we are wired to hear certain things, accept certain things, and/or believe certain things. This happens everywhere in life…not just in our faith. Every time I speak, I feel like my life is a micro-cosmic demonstration of this very notion: selective hearing. It is so prevalent that it must be in the human genome somehow.

In Matthew 11 Jesus is talking about the basic belief that the First Testament (Old) is being fulfilled in Him and John the Baptist. There was so much doubt about Jesus. John the Baptist sends a messenger from prison to ask Jesus if he is indeed the one who he was talking about all those months in the desert when he was saying someone greater is on the way – John seems to want confirmation and validation of his work. Jesus responds to John’s messengers then turns to the crowd and reassures them as well by telling them that John was the real deal. He was the one referred to in Malachi (3:1) when it is said someone will come and prepare the way. Jesus is demonstrating that He and John are not full of more prophesies, but rather are the prophecy being fulfilled. But rather than insist that everyone believe, he says, “If you are willing to accept it, (then) he (John) is the Elijah who was to come.” Then he says, “He who has ears, let him hear.” Or, in other words, if you are tuned-in you will believe. The implication is that not everyone is tuned-in…not everyone has the ears to hear. Furthermore, he doesn’t want to convince everyone. He wants to give only those who are tuned-in hope and certainty. It is almost as though he is suggesting that he can take 'em or leave 'em: the non believers, the ones who can't hear.

Selective hearing is analogous to selective belief, which can translate into selective action. My son selectively heard me asking him to take the trash out – but wasn’t wired to really hear it, so never had the opportunity to believe the task was real, so never knew to act on it. Isn’t that just like so many things in faith? We can selectively tune-out God’s invitation - not hear him, so we never gain the opportunity to believe His Way, and we quite possibly never know to act in faith.

And then there’s the possibility that God picks and chooses who He sends messages to…you may not receive a message from God because He may not transmit to you. Did you ever think of that?

There’s a passage in the Bible that gets cited a lot by gays and lesbians; and likewise, by religious leaders who oppose gay and lesbian relationships; where this notion of conditional sending (by God) and acceptance (by man) is used to either argue that God accepts gays or the converse. But, putting the Gay-people-marriage issue aside, listen to what is suggested by Christ: It reads, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should.” I really think that Jesus was simply saying, “Look, some are wired for marriage and some aren’t: whether it’s hereditary or environmental. But my Father may not even call you into His definition of a marriage…if you can accept it, then you should.” Again he is not trying to convince everyone that they must be locked into a marriage the way God envisions it; just as he, previously, is not trying to convince everyone that the prophecies are being fulfilled. Jesus invites those who are tuned-in to hear, those who hear to believe, and those who believe, to act. He puts it out there for the taking, but doesn't force anyone to accept it...he knows we are wired for selective hearing/acceptance/belief/action.

That’s why He is my true inspiration. I can’t take it or leave it. I really need my husband and kids to hear me…all the time.