The Violence of Tolerance

As a society, why do we teach so much tolerance to our children - in schools, on educational TV cartoons and shows, in children's books, etc.? Do you like it when someone merely 'tolerates' you? I don't. Do you know what it feels like when someone merely 'tolerates' you? I do. It sucks. People get stiff, don't make eye contact, for sure don't smile, glance around at others nearby for nonverbal affirmation that they are doing it right - allowing you in their space, yet alienating you all at once; they speak at you, not with you, short answers, no questions.

I think the act of tolerance is abusive at best. I think it edifies the markers of difference because in a frame of tolerance - neither party is willing to cross the lines of difference. They only approach them then pull away.

Why not teach our kids how to reach out, ask people questions, make eye contact, offer a smile, a hand, a conversation. Why not acknowledge the lines of difference and cross them in order to help an outsider come in. They don't have to come into your realm of identity - but why not invite them?...You know, rather than merely tolerate?

More and more in public schools students are called to tolerate and accept differences like racial, gender, and behavioral lines of difference. You know, we are all called to accept the ADHD student, students of different color, and students who have same sex parents, or who are gay themselves. Students are taught the mantra "nobody's difference is better or worse so we will allow them to coexist, live parallel with us." But being tolerant and accepting are PASSIVE and inward. Tolerance maintains constructs of difference in its passivity.

Students are NOT taught to be outgoing, to reach out, make conversation, find someone who needs a smile, smile at someone, ask them questions. Why not? Isn't the outcome of actively loving someone, actively caring for someone, actively showing interest in someone, isn't the desired outcome better? Wouldn't it be something amazing if public schools were to teach an active form of loving difference...not just merely tolerating it?

Hmm...love your neighbor as yourself. I wonder where I have heard that before? NOT IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS, UNFORTUNATELY!